Taboo
2006-06-28

Chapter 5
To say I was shocked would have been the understatement of the year. Hell, the century. Here I was laying front to front with one of the two cutest 13 year old girls in the whole world, and one I had seen completely naked involved in about every sex act you could imagine, albeit forced. She was kissing me, tongue in my mouth, softly rubbing my chest, as she softly, gently, slowly rubbed my raging hard on and very sensitive balls. I guess I should feel lucky - at least she wasn't sucking me. Oh, and did I forget to mention one other small detail - SHE WAS MY DAUGHTER?!? Oh, and did I mention that she was NAKED?!? Completely?
I slowly broke the kiss, trying to be nonchalant. I knew I had to get her hand out of my underwear, and very soon, or I was going to be in big trouble. It just felt way too good, raging guilt or not. The problem was, this poor girl had been majorly traumatized by the gang rape she had gone through. If I followed my first instincts and asked her what the FUCK she thought she was doing, she might never recover to lead a normal sex life again.
I reached down slowly, and gently pulled her hand out of my underwear, bringing it slowly up to my mouth, and kissed her fingertips. I knew kissing her fingertips might give her the impression I wanted to go farther (Oh god, did I?), but on the other hand, it would get her hand out of there without embarrassing or upsetting her. Hah! Sometimes we mere mortal adults win out over the brilliant teenagers; she smiled sweetly and did not seem too upset or embarrassed.
She had a nervous little smile on her face, though. She was not sure that she was not in big trouble, and I do not think she knew what she wanted to say next. She obviously had a plan, but I did not know what the hell it was!
Still keeping with the concept of not traumatizing the poor little girl any more than necessary, but also trying not to become the close, intimate friend of a large inmate named Bubba, I looked at Cindi and said:
"Hi.

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  " I can be downright wordy and eloquent when I want to be!
"Hi" she said back. Well, she is my daughter and I taught her well about effective, high level communicating!
"So, what's up?" I asked. Oh God! Brilliant! Please do not let her be the smart ass that I just know Amy would not resist being in these circumstances.
Her eyes only twinkled briefly before she had mercy on me, and said, "I couldn't sleep. " Giggle.
"Great! Now I can't either".
"I'm sorry," she giggled nervously, sounding anything but.
"No, you're not. So, what's on your mind, honey?"
"Well, Daddy, remember when we talked and you said that a guy who. . . um. . . knew what he was.

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  . . um. . . doing could make a girl. . . um. . . feel. . . um.

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  . . things that she didn't want to, and she couldn't stop it and it wasn't her fault and it didn't mean that she was a slut or anything like that cause she really couldn't help it and she really, really tried to stop it but she just couldn't so it really didn't mean anything? Remember?"
I reached over and tickled her sides, making her squeal.

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"Wow! And you said all that in one breath? Yes, I remember".
"Well, I understood what you said, and I even agreed with it, but it just doesn't feel that way. I still feel dirty and awful. But I figured out why and what to do about it" she said proudly as her face brightened.
God, I hate it when these girls figure something out. It is never good news for me.
"See, it's because I had such a bad experience for my first time, which shouldn't have even happened yet, and I felt so guilty and it was just terrible and it's all I have to remember and I have nothing to compare it to and every time I remember it is just so icky and I just think EWWWW, and so I decided I just need to do it again with someone sweet and wonderful and who will be gentle and make me feel good and make it all right again and who loves me, and then I can just forget about icky and EWWW and just remember wonderful. " She just looked at me brightly, nodding her head in agreement, as if she had just discovered the secrets of the universe and it was just so obvious. God, I loved that girl!
I was getting a headache. My only excuse for the next bit of stupidity was that I was still half-asleep and still in shock from feeling my 13-year-old daughter's hand on my cock.
"Cindi, dear, you know I feel that you are too young to be having sex. Just because it was forced on you the first time, doesn't mean you should continue down that road.

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  " I could see the sadness starting to take over. "But, on the other hand, I really can't watch over you 24 hours a day, and if you are determined to do this, I guess I can't really stop you. " Here comes the aforementioned stupidity. "So, who's the lucky guy you have in mind?"
Hell, do not ask me what I was thinking or where my brain was. Here she is in bed with me, naked, had been kissing me, rubbing my chest, fondling and stroking my balls and cock until I stopped her and she says she wants to have sex with someone who loves her, and I brilliantly ask who she has in mind. Then I am shocked when she says, "It's you, Daddy. " At least she did not roll her eyes at me as if I was the biggest dork in the world and say "duh"! There are some things Cindi will pass on that Amy would never be able to resist.
I am not sure how I kept from having a heart attack right there. Running in circles, screaming and shouting in panic sounded good right about then, too. But I kept my cool. This was my little girl's psyche we were dealing with here, and I had to be careful. I smiled sweetly at her, although I am sure the shock must have shown on my face. She DID have my undivided attention now.
"Cindi, that is just so sweet of you to say that, and believe me, I am so touched that you thought of me. But I cannot do that, honey.

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   You are my daughter, not to mention 13 years old. I could never take advantage of you like that. I'm sorry. "
Her eyes were instantly tear filled.

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"Don't you love me enough to do that? Am I not pretty enough? I know I'm not as pretty as Amy, but. . . "
"Cindi," I interrupted, "This has nothing to do with loving you or how pretty you are or Amy. You know you and Amy and your Mom are the most important things in life to me - I love you more than life itself. In addition, you and Amy are the most beautiful girls I have ever seen. However, it would not be right. In addition, I could get in a lot of trouble. You might think it would help, but it would just hurt you in the end. This isn't the answer, sweetie. "
"I knew you would say that" she said sadly.

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   "But it isn't taking advantage of me if I want it and am asking you for it and I promise I would never tell anyone, Daddy, not even Amy, I promise, honest, and we could just do it this one time, just to remove my bad memories, and I promise I would never ask you to do it again if you didn't want to, just this once, and you could even just lay there and I would do all the work so that you wouldn't have to feel guilty, it would be all me and I wouldn't tell anyone not ever, I promise Daddy, I just know this would make me feel so much better and help me so much. "
Irrationally, in the middle of this crisis, my first thought was that someone really needed to teach this girl about sentence structure and run-on sentences. How had she ever gotten straight A's in English?
She looked at me with those big, sad, incredible blue eyes. I have never been able to resist that look, and she knew it, but I just had to this time - I could not do this.
"Cindi, I'm sorry, I just can't do this. Please, just drop it and go back to sleep. "
"Ok. I love you, Daddy" She smiled shyly, "Can I still sleep here tonight?"
"Yes, you can, but you have to promise me you won't do anything more like you woke me up with. And put your tee shirt and panties back on!"
"Spoilsport", she giggled, as she got dressed, then cuddled up close, laid her head on my shoulder, closed her eyes and sighed contentedly. "Good night, Daddy" she whispered.
Too bad I did not notice at the time what you have undoubtedly already noticed; she did not promise!
About two hours later, I woke up, again to some incredible feelings. Cindi, naked again, was kneeling between my legs. My underwear had somehow been removed. She was softly, gently, slowly rubbing my cock and balls again. She looked up into my eyes with an innocent little smile, looking so happy and proud of herself, and said "Hi, Daddy!"
"Cindi! I thought we agreed that you wouldn't do that any more?!?"
"You agreed, Daddy, I didn't.

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   I didn't promise," she giggled.
"But. . . "
She reached up and put her finger across my lips. "Oh, Daddy, shut up," she said sweetly.
Then she sucked my cock into her lovely, warm, moist mouth, and I was lost forever.
Continued in chapter 6
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