A Confession?

Fetish
2008-05-07

        I'm very sorry to say this is a true story. Last names and locations are being purposely omitted to save the identity of the one truly innocent peron involved. There was nothing done that was illegal, but it was criminal in the fact that I should never have done what I did. Up until now, only three people have known this story, I have never told a living soul, mostly out of shame. I guess you could call this is a confession, of This story starts when I was very young, not sure how old I was, but I was in the third grade. There was a girl who lived just down the block and around the corner, at the edge of our sub-division. Her name was Kelly. We weren't very freindly with her, we didn't talk to her much. I alway thought she was cute, but whenever she came by, somehow the conversation always turned towards nudity. Kelly would say she was fine with it, and for a quarter she would go home and take off all her clothes and stand in her bedroom window so we could look at her. It was usually me who would come up with the twenty-five cents. I always thought she was cute, so to me it was worth it.         Like I said she lived at the edge of the sub-division so there was a wide open field behind her house. There was a bike path that ran along behind the houses, and Kelly's house had a chain-link fence with a five foot hedge aroung the back yard. We could sit back there, on our bikes, with our binoculars. We could look at her naked in the bedroom, window on the second floor, for as long as we wanted.

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   Nobody could see us behind those hedges, unless they looked out another second story window.         One of my freinds, a Minister's son would giggle and get downright giddy looking at her. He was funny to watch and would have my other freind and I laughing before long. Once we were laughing she'd usually leave the window. I don't know if she thought we were laughing at her, but I aways felt a little disappointed and guilty after she'd leave.         The voyeristic relationship continued for two years, I'd often give her the twenty-five cents even if I was the only one, and she would stand naked in front of her window for as long as I wanted to look at her. Maybe I should describe her for you. She had short brown hair, usually worn about shoulder length. I really liked those soft brown eyes. She also had some nice curves for a little girl. What I liked best about her was her cute ass and awesome legs. She would wear cute short-shorts that would show off her legs and ass. I always thought her legs look more like the legs of a grown woman, not like a little girl at all. In fact when I was alone watching her I would often motion for her to turn around so I could see her naked ass, or put her foot on the windowsil so I could see her leg. Of course that pose also got me a pretty clear shot of that hairless pussy as well.

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   About fifty feet away, across her backyard, and up on the second floor. Still at that young age, it was pretty exciting. At night, I would close my eyes and picture it as I The voyeristic part of our relationship ended the summer between 5th and 6th grade. School had only been out for about a week, and I'd just finished mowing the lawn, we had a big yard, but we had a riding lawn mower so my parents only gave me a dollar to mow it. I was driving the mower into the garage when Kelly rode up on her bike. I sat on the mower, as we talked, and as always, we ended up discussing nudity, and she offered to get naked and stand in front of her window, so I could look at her. At the time I was content at the view I was getting for free. She was sitting on her bike facing me, one toe was on the ground leaving that legs in a very sexy pose, The other leg was up on the bike pedal bent at the knee, also very sexy, and up that bent leg I could see up her shorts, she was wearing pink panties. I would have given her the whole dollar I just made mowing the lawn just to caress those legs and touch those pink panties. My mind was whirling as I blindly made her an offer, "I'm tired of looking at you through the window. . . I'll give you a whole dollar if you go back to the clubhouse with me, take off your clothes and let me look at you there. " I was hoping she would at least agree to strip down to her panties. She paused, looked at me and I was stunned as she caually replied, "Show me the I told her I'd be right back as I dashed in the house, grabbed my mothers purse from the kitchen, took it to her in the livingroom and excitedly told her, "I finished the lawn!" She said, "Okay, hold your horses.

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  . . " She gave me the dollar, and I bolted she called, "Hey, get back here and put my purse away. " I ran back and put her purse in the kitchen then bolted for the door. She asked, "Where's the fire?" I just called back, "I'm going out to the clubhouse!" as I flew out the door.         The "clubhouse" was really nice, as far as clubhouses go. It was built with lumber from an old farmhouse and barn they tore down up the street, before they could build more houses on the land. The workers didn't mind us taking the wood, that meant less for them to haul away. In fact one of the guys even took a load for us in his pickup. We built it in and open field, near a pond that would freeze over in the winter. It would double as a warming house for our Ice Skating over the long cold winter. With all the wood we had available it was quite a place. It was up, six inches above the ground, on seven short wooden posts, to prevent the floor from rotting out. All the sides were double thick, with the boards staggered, and the roof was doubled layered, and staggerd too, but we also got tar paper from the walls of that old farmhouse and used it between the layers so the roof wouldn't leak. It was ten feet long, eight feet wide and five foot high at the peak of the roof, Four feet at the sides.

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   With leftover paint from my Dad's gas station we painted it Service Station White. When our neighbors got new carpeting, we hauled away the better pieces of old carpet to carpet the floor, and the walls, and the ceiling. It was quite the place to hang out in, year round.         I got back, a little out of breath, and showed her the dollar. She tried to take it, but I took it back and said, "After I get to see you naked. " Kelly just shrugged and said, "Fine, I don't have any problem taking off my clothes in front of you. " and we rode our bikes out there. We parked our bikes on the far side, so no one would know we were out there. We kept the place locked up to keep the hooligans in the neighborhood from getting in and trashing the place. I unlocked the door and let her in. I opened the windows on the far side so we could watch our bikes and to let in the afternoon sun.         She asked, "The dollar?" I pulled it out, she reached for it, i said, "Not until your naked. " She asked, "How do I know you'll give it to me?" I placed the dollar on the big wooden cable spool we converted into a table. and said, "I'll leave it right here, but you can't take it until your naked, and you have to stay naked for a little while so I can look at you. " She smiled at that last part and I fantasized in my young mind that she really liked being look at naked, the money was just an excuse.

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          She stared taking off her shoes as I settled in on the carpet leaning against a carpeted wall. She went for her socks and I said, "Forget those, just get on with the good stuff. " She smiled and stood up. She could easily stand up without stooping, she was well under 5 feet tall. She was a year younger than me, between Fourth and Fifth grade. As she stood she unsnapped and unzipped those denim short. I was already hard, I'd been sporting a woody since she said, "Show me that dollar. " I tried to adjust it to let it slide down my pantleg, without her noticing, but she smiled and blushed anyway. She pushed her shorts over her hips then let them drop to her ankles and she stood there in her pink panties. I asked her, "Turn around. " She asked, "Why do you always want me to turn around?" I replied, "Just do it! Please. " She shrugged and turned around. That beatiful ass in those tight pink panties was almost more than I could stand. I wanted to pull my cock out and start masterbating right now. I imagined me blowing may wad all over that lovely ass in those tight pink panties.

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   This was way better than any picture in those magazines, this was 3-D and right in front of me!        She turned back facing me and unceremoniously pulled her white tank top off over her head. She had on a cute little training bra. She tugged on a strap and said, "My Mom makes me wear these. " as she made a face. I said, "It makes you look more like a woman. " She bightened up and asked, "It does?" I nooded as she adjusted the straps on it, and a big smile spread across her pretty face. She started to unhook the training bra, it closed in front, then she paused and said, "Oh, I forgot to turn around. " I replied, "Well don't do it now, just finish what your doing. " She looked down and I followed her eyes and almost jumped as I suddenly realized I'd beeb subconciously rubbing my cock, running down my pantleg. Kelly blushed again, and so did I.         She unhooked the bra and let it slide off her arms. There wasn't much more than her perky little nipples, but you could see where there were some mounds beginning to form. She left her arms in that same position as she slowly turned around showing me her bare back, and that awesome pink panty covered ass, before she slowly turned back. This was too much, I felt like my poor penis was going to explode. I didn't care anymore and I started rubbing my cock again as she slipped off those pink panties.

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   I could see there was no hair on her mound as she straighened back up. But that didn't matter, I liked looking at the shaved pussies in penthouse the best. I wished they were all shaved. She turned and I actually groaned as I look at that bare ass just a feet feet away. I wanted to grab it and squeeze it so bad, I could hardly stand it. She didn't notice or chose to ignore my audible appreciation as she smiled looking at me then walked closer and picked up the dollar. She asked, "Do you want me to put my leg up on this?" as she took the dollar off the table. I nodded, "Oh yea!" She put her leg up and I was less than five feet from that pretty pink pussy. Not fifty feet looking through binoculars across a backyard, I was so close I could almost smell it! It was torture, but I loved it.         She looked down at me rubbing my rigid cock and asked, "Can I see you naked?" I gasped not believing my good fortune. She must've took my gasp in the wrong way as she quickly added, "I'll give you your dollar I think I should point out at this time that my fifth grade education in sex was a bit advanced for a youth of my time. When my uncle lived with my grandmother, he amassed quite the collection of Penthouse Magazines. He left them behind when he moved out, so I smuggled them out of Grandma's house in my bowling bag. One at a time, every Saturday. It took almost two seasons of Junior bowling to get them all.

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   We kept them in an old clothes hamper in the clubhouse, under a pile of comic books. My sex education consisted of reading each and every Penthouse Forum atricle in every magazine. I thought wild sex stories were common as everybody seemed to have one. The always started with something like, "I never thought this would happen to me but. . . . " Anyway I knew the intimate details of what men and women do, when alone together, naked. So you could understand my I'm ashamed to say I took the dollar back and quickly disrobed. I could also stand at the peak if the house being just under five feet at the time. She looked down at my rock hard penis pointing right up at her face. She blushed and asked, "Turn around. " I did a slow turn my cock bobbing up and down making her giggle. I wanted to stroke it so bad, but even more I wanted to touch her naked body. I blurted out, "You can have the dollar back if you let me touch you.

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  " She paused then asked, "Where?" I replied, "Anywhere I want. " She hesitated so I held up the dollar, she took it and nodded.  I stepped closer to her, bent slightly and ran my hands around her waist, then back around to that gorgeous ass and began kneeding and massaging it. It felt more wonderful than I could have imagined. Her soft skin and the firm but pliable flesh. This was awesome! A must've stood there for five minutes just squeezing and kneading those sweet cheeks. She finally commented, "You didn't have to give me a dollar if that's all you wanted to touch. " I snapped out of my trance and told her, "Oh, I'm not done. " as I ran my hands up her sides, she nervously replied, "That's okay, I liked it. " I said, "I think you'll like this too. " as I ran my hands over her young, almost non-existant, breasts. Her nipples were hard so I gently pinched them and rolled them between my thumb and fore-finger, just like the letters in the magazine say to do it. Her breathing started to sound a little ragged. I looked up and her eyes were closed, and she let out a soft sigh as her head rolled back. I thought, "Holy cow, this crap really I looked down and saw her hand rubbing her stomach and pubic mount over and over.

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   I put one of my hands down there and mimiced her movements. She softly sighed, "Oh, your hands are so warm. . . " as she placed her hand over mine and encouraged the rubbing. I was getting close to her pussy and wanted more so on the next circuit, I took a downward turn between her legs, she made no move to stop me. I slipped my hand bteween those lovely thighs as my middle finger ran along her slit. She just sighed, "Mmmmmm. . . . . " I took that as a positive sign and pulled back pressing my middle finger slightly into her. I felt a little nub near the top of her slit, it was hard and she gasped when I touched it. I paused and asked, "Are you okay.

 

  " She nodded and stared pushing my hand as she pleaded, "Please, don't stop!" Again I thought, "Wow! All that crap I read in Penthouse Forum really is for I was feeling moisture down there between her legs, just like they say in the magazines. According to all those article that means she is getting excited, and sexually aroused. That was making me really excited, and I was already sexually aroused, because I knew which way the stories in the magazine always went. I didn't want to jack-off anymore. I was desparately trying to figure out a way, to get her, to let me put it inside her! I started rubbing her pussy slipping my finger deeper and deeper inside of her. I made sure to give a little extra attention to the little nub, it took me a few minutes to realize that was her clitoris. I've read so much about them, and here I was actually touch and rubbing a real live one. My knees almost went weak.         I as stood there, actually rubbing a real live pussy, I could hardly believe this was happening to me! I felt like writing to Forum myself, I knew just how all those guys felt! This was awesome. Her breathing started to get more raspy. as she pressed my hand harder into her moist pussy. Her thighs squeezed tightly together she stiffened up and let out a short yelp, a brief pause then a long sigh. She seemed a bit wobbly and leaned on me for support. I tried to continue to rub her but she pushed my hand away. But being a dumb little kid I was insistent, and tried to rub some more.

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   Abruptly, she shoved the dollar in my face and blurted out, "Can I touch I stopped insisting and pulled my hand back, glistening with her dew. I took the dollar with the dry hand, that was still playing with her nipple. I smelled the moisture on the fingers of my other hand, it smelled kind of like I just took off a sweaty sock, only better, much better. The sent was making me feel funny. I looked down at her, she was examining my hard pecker, so I took a little taste of my finger. Now I felt really strange, it was weird, and I couldn't explain the feeling, but I found myself licking my fingers clean and wanting MORE!        She was still a little unsteady and sugessted we sit down. I agreed and sat with my legs spread as she took a seat between them. She reached out and started petting my cock like it was a deliacate little bird. But her hand was the only hand, other than my own, to ever have touched it, so it felt wonderful. I let her continue for a few moments then sighed, "Oh that feels so good!" She jumped, almost like she forgot I was there, and that hard penis she was petting, was attached to me. She tried to put her hand around it, but her fingers didn't go all the way around. That was okay though. I tried to show her how to stroke it but she couldn't quite get the motion down. All the while her scent was filling that small clubhouse, filling my head. I couldn't handle it, I was just a kid, and quickly becomming overcome with desire.

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   I shoved the dollar back at her and cried, "I want to kiss She took the dollar and nodded, "Uh huh!" I pushed her onto her back, I think she thought I was going to kiss her lips, but I went for straight for those perkly little nipples. I started kissing them, sucking them, and tugging on them with my teeth. She seemed startled at first but quickly began guiding my head with her hands. I didn't spend long there, I knew where that scent was coming from and I wanted more. I abandoned her breast and went south for my first taste of real live pussy! I kissed her mound as she mumbled, "What are you doing?" As an answer to that question I kissed her moist slit, pressing my lips against her, opening my mouth and trying to suck her inside. She moaned and gasped all at the same time. The scent was driving me wild, the taste was lighting me on fire. I licked her deeply as her hands rested on my head. I licked her from bottom to top and paused to tease her clit with my tongue. She pulled my head into her crotch, mashing my face into her sweet virgin pussy. I could hardly belive this was me, actually eating a real girls pussy, and by the way she was pulling my hair like she was trying to pull me inside of her, I positive she was liking it. My tongue may have been inexperienced, but my mind was filled with ideas from hundreds of Forum letters. I was determined to give her an orgasm, no wait, two orgasms, or maybe I'll just keep giving her orgasms until she begs me to stop. That's what one guy did, and when he finished he said it felt like she was going to suck his testicles right out through his dick when she went down on him. Would Kelly do that to me? I was damn sure going to find out.

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          It wasn't easy at first, then I got her legs over my shoulders and she tilted her hips to give me easier access. Now I had the right position, there isn't much about positioning in Pentouse. I tried a few methods explaind in the magazine and she seemed to like them all pretty much. I decided to try one method where he licked her with his tongue while massaging her clit with his upper lip. It was ackward at first but I soon mastered it, and by the sound of her voice, she was very appreciative. I made a mental note to do this often if I ever get another chance. After a few more appreciative moments I decided to try sucking on her clit, according to Forum, that is suppose to drive women wild, and it hasn't failed me yet. I'm not sure if she screamed like the girls in the magazines. I couldn't hear a thing. As soon as I wrapped my lips around that tiny nub and sucked, she clamped her thighs around my head, muffling my ears as she arched her back, while she kicked me hard, with her heels in my back.         I was starting to get worried as I couldn't breathe and she was still squeezing. I started to black out when she finally released me. I was gasping for breath, she was panting like a dog. I was just getting my head back together and started thinking about going back down on the sweet pussy next to my head. I rolled bck and saw the dollar and she sighed, "I want to kiss you!" I thought "BLOWJOB!" as I snatched the dollar and quickly sat up.

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          She knocked me down flat on my back as she laid down on top of me, and was kissing me on the lips. I didn't mind, I kinda liked it. I definately liked the way she was rubbing her naked body all over mine! She whispered in my ear, "I've done that to myself before, but it was never like that!" I smuggly smiled as I reached down and grabbed her ass squeezing it. She giggled, "You like that!" I replied, "You have a great ass. " Her thighs were on either side of my rock hard cock. As she kissed me again. I kissed her back and we started naked necking, which was pretty cool. Suddenly she slipped down slightly and my rigid meat was pressing against her warm wet pussy. I no longer cared about getting my testicles sucked through my penis. All I wanted at that moment was to feel my cock inside a real wet and warm pussy.         I released her ass and rolled us over, spreading her legs apart, slipping in between those lovely legs. I held up the dollar and asked, "Can I touch my thing to your thing?" She took the dollar and softly sighed, "Yes. . . " I lifted myself up on one arm, and used my other hand to rub the head of my penis over her moist slit, getting it all wet.

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   She felt warm, almost hot inside. I wanted to feel more, so I pushed a little bit pressing the head of my penis against her pussy. My cock was stiff as a piece of steel and I was getting real excited, I pushed again, with no luck. I felt her hand on my cock, she pointed it down and sighed, "It's here. " DAMN! She wanted me, inside her, just as bad as I wanted to be, inside her. I pushed again and the head slipped inside. It was wonderful she felt so warm, so hot inside. I pushed a little harder, It was so tight, but I my cock felt hard as steel I pushed it a little deeper. I was wondering how her hymen would feel. I'd read where you can actually feel the hymen as you break it.         She suddenly pulled me on top of her, As I fell over on top of her, my cock was rammed deep into her hot tight pussy, almost all the way, it must've broken her hynen. I didn't feel anything, but apparently she did. She bit onto my shoulder as she whimpered. I forgot everything I read about fucking virgins, and pushed the last inch into her, not willing to wait for her to get used to having my penis inside her. She whimpered and cried out, I paused but didn't care.

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   I stared humping her, a bit clumy at first, but soon got into a rhythym. She was starting to get used to it and my initial thrill of actually fucking a girl for the first time passed. I slowed down remembering that can make it last longer, and I wanted to make it last as long as I could. She wasn't whimpering anymore she was moaning, like she was when I went down on her. I remembered that I should wait for her to come first, I was suppose to think of something else like baseball so I didn't come too fast. BASEBALL? How in the hell could I think of baseball, while I was fucking my first real pussy? She was moaning and sighing, she looked really cute. How in the hell was I suppose to think of Still I wanted to do it right my first time and it took all my willpower to hold back while I was stroking that hot, tight, virgin pussy. Not too soon for mei, she squeezed my hips and arched her back as she let you a long low moan. I blasted off instantly blowing wad after wad of come into that sweet, formerly-virgin pussy.         I laid on top of her feeling extremely satisfied. She pushed me off and saying, "Crap, I'm gonna be late for dinner!" I looked outside at the sun and it did seem a little bit low. We hurried and got dressed, I locked the door and went behind the clubhouse and she was standing there waiting for me. She kissed me and asked, "See you tomorrow?" I nodded, "Sure. " We got on our bikes and headed off for home.         So yes, I paid for it my first time.

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   One dollar for my first fuck.         I was late for dinner, and it was kind of uncomfortable at dinner as my Mom asked what I'd stepped in. She said it really stank and told me to go leave my shoes outside. I took my shoes outside then said I had to go to the bathroom. I looked in my shorts and was stunned to see my underwear was stained with blood. I took them off and got then wet and used them to wash off the sex smell and blood from my genitals, I even had blood on my testicles. I snuck to my room and put on new underwear and wrapped the wet bloody underwear in plastic, then stuffed it in the back of my closet. Later that night I woke up and could smell them. I snuck out of my room and stuffed them into a garbage bag out in the garage. Day after tomorrow was garbage day anyway.         The next day Kelly didn't come over, I wanted to ask her if I'd have to pay a dollar for it every time. It wasn't that I didn't think I was worth it, It was that my parents made me put all my money in the bank, (and they held onto my bank book) so I didn't have a lot of money The next day Kelly came over, and saud she'd been grounded for being late for dinner, but her Mom found her bloody panties and thought she was late because she had her first period. She showed her how to use "feminine napkins" and convinced her Dad that her tardiness wasn't her fault. I had three sisters so I knew about that time of the month, and had even been sent into a drug store to buy Kotex. (Pretty embarassing for a young boy.

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  ) Her concern was how to get more blood to continue to make her mother think she was having her period. I gave her a tube of "Vampire Blood" I had left over from last Halloween. She hugged me and thanked me.         I nervously asked her, "You think we could do that again some time?" She smiled and nodded, "Of course, I'm looking forward to it. " She kissed me lightly on the lips. I mumbled, "I won't have another dollar until I mow the lawn again. " She laughed and replied, "Silly, you don't have to give me a dollar for that!" and she gave me a hug. I perked up and asked, "Can we do it now. " She looked at me with a big smile and nodded.         Again this was in the afternoon, we were more cautious, and hurried so we wouldn't be lat for dinner. I didn't want her to be grounded. There was no blood this time.         Aftewards, she said she wished we had more time. I told her, "You know, last summer, I used to spend the night out here. You think you could sneak out of your house and come out here tonight.

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  " She thought and said, "You know when we were doing the practice fire plan?" I sighed, "No, my family never bothered. " She smiled and said, "We did. I can step out of my window onto the roof. I can jump down to the garage, then climb down the wood pile. " I asked, "Won't they hear you?" She smiled, "I'll do it We dressed and went to my house. I asked and my parents agreed to let me slepp out in the club-house, as long I I made sure to lock the door. I thoght to my self, I will, after Kelly gets there. I went back outside and told Kelly it was on, and she smiled and gave me a quick kiss and said, "See you That night was great! I managed to give her three orgasms, and she gave me, my first blow-job! I had two orgasms myself! But she had to leave so she could sneak back inside while her parents were asleep. She promised, one night, she would spend the whole night with me.         Once or twice a week, all summer long, I was spending the night out at the club-house. I ran out of kerosene, and started usin gas in my lantern. My Mom asked if I was going to move out there permanently. Kelly and I had sex, each and every time I spent the night out there. Or should I say *I* was having sex. what happened next is really hard to talk about.

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   My crime, what I'm so ashamed of. . . .         It was Labor Day weekend, the last weekend before school starts, the last night my parents would allow me to sleep out there. I'm not sure why, I just think I wanted to let somebody know that I'd been having sex all summer long. I invited my best freind to join me out there. I was way to young, and really stupid!        Kelly arrived, but didn't say anything about Gregg being there, in fact she didn't say anything at all. I stripped her, then got naked myself and fucked her. Then I did the most moronic thing I could have possibly done! I told Gregg, " It's great, you've got to try it. " and I let him fuck Kelly. She didn't say a word, and after Gregg finished, she silently dressed and left. while we were high fiving and My school district sent 6th grade to Junior High. we had a split shift. &th and 8th grade went from 7:00AM to 12:00 Noon, then 6th Grade from Noon to 5:00PM.

 

   It sucked, I got home at dinner time and never got the chance to see Kelly, so I never realized that she probably didn't want to see me anyway. In fact the following school year I was going in the morning and she was going to school in the afternoon. It wan't until I was in 8th Grade and I looked for her, she was in 7th so we sould have been going to school at the same time. I figured we could get back together. Funny how all summer long I never got off my butt and tried to see her.         Anyway, I finally went to her house and found out she moved. Her family move to a nearby town, where her father worked, and it was in a different school district. I felt a slight pang, I thought she'd always be there, but I'd lost her and never had a chance to say I didn't have sex again, until I was a Junior in High School. I remember that time, it was the first time I "Made Love". Clarissa asked me, "Do you love me?" I kissed her and replied, "Of course I love you. " I smiled and added, "Do you love me?" She hugged me tight and said, "I wouldn't be doing this with you if I didn't love I was glad she hugged me and couldn't see my face. At the moment she said that, I KELLY LOVED ME!!!!        It felt like somebody punched me in the stomach so hard, that they penetrated the skin, grabbed a hand full of my guts and just started twisting them up! That poor girl fell in love with me and I was a huge jerk who passed her off to his freind, like she was nothing more than a piece of meat. I felt so horrible, I was glad Clarissa had hugged me, I'm sure she thought I was hugging her because of the word she'd said, and she'd be right, but I didn't want her to see how her words had effected me. There was no way I could explain to Clarissa, what I done to Kelly, I was so ashamed I didn't want her to know what I'd done. I didn't want anyone to know, I just hugged Clarissa tight and she hugged me back.

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          I did make love to Clarissa that night. I was amazing! I was trying to make up for what I'd done to Kelly. I thought if I could make this night wonderful for Clarissa, it would somehow redeem myself for what I did to Kelly. Of couse I was wrong, and I felt miserable inside. But I had to hide it, I couldn't let Clarissa know. I was so ashamed, I could never let anyone Women have called me a very attentative lover. I've been told I was great in bed. Truth be told, I never had sex again. I've always made sweet and tender love to every woman I've ever been with. And I did everything in my power to make it as good as I could for her. I don't know, I guess I'm still trying to redeem myself somehow for what I'd done to Kelly.         It's been almost 40 years since I committed this crime of love, and for almost fourty years I've never told a living soul. I don't know why I'm doing this now. I guess, I'm hoping Kelly will read this and know how sorry I am. I hope she got over the emotional scar I gave her, and to let her know that I never did.

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   It still hurts today. I'm not looking or asking for forgiveness, I know don't deserve it.         I just wish I knew if things worked out for Kelly. I got married, and had two kids. I protected my Daughter from assholes like me, and now she's in a serious relationship with a pretty cool guy. I also taught my son to repect woman, starting at a very young age. Now he's in a serious relationship with his High School sweetheart. I just hope Kelly had a happy life, a husband, with kids, a dog and a house. The american dream, and I hope she was happy.         Kelly, if you are out there, I just want you to know how sorry I am for what I did to you. .
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