Incest
2004-02-19

It was not unusual for them to find themselves dealing with situations in similar ways; at 12, they were fraternal twins, and shared much in common between them though not identical features, though the similarity of their faces and build were easily evident. Simon had a full head of brown hair which bordered between light and dark, and rolled in waves down over his forehead, occasionally irritating him by falling into his dark brown eyes. Similarly, Amanda found herself with sweeping long dark brown hair, running like a waterfall down her back, which bordered on a glossy black, that framed a perfect oval face with pouting lips, and beautiful dark brown eyes of her own. One particularly individual feature of the twins was that the colour and depth of the brown in their eyes would change notably with their moods. Many children at school were fascinated with this fact that for the twins was merely a commonplace aspect of their lives. As commonplace as the violent screams of their mother railing against the drunken ranting of their father. There was no particular moment that it all began, that love suddenly turned to hate, that comfortable closeness became an all-encompassing suffocation. Their mother Amy suddenly turned from being a glowing mother into the “whore” of their father’s making, while he turned to drink to try and drown out all the fears and anxieties that wrenched at him. Ironically, they lived a very comfortable life, their father having as a young man built from scratch a highly successful software development company, which he then sold for enough money to keep generations of the Lancy family rolling in wealth. Perhaps it was all the spare time that gave him the opportunity to begin to evaluate himself and his own life, to watch hawklike the coming and going of his family around him. Perhaps the most successful financial moment of his life was what ruined the lives of all those around him. But all these thoughts were far from Simon’s young, confused mind. Both he and his sister had been forced to mature early to deal with the broken home in which they lived, and they saw life with more cynicism that their 12 year old fellows. They felt a special connection that went beyond merely that of being twins, as those forced together by tragedy often do. Simon’s chest felt close to bursting as the din from outside settled into poisonous silence – acid tongues were often preferable to pregnant silences filled with loathing. He felt a tear leak from the corner of his eye, and shook himself under his blankets, knowing that weakness would never allow him to get through this.

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   Yet as he shook himself, he heard a quiet sobbing coming from the other side of the room. Tentatively, he lowered the blanket from his eyes, and looked across to see the mound of sheets that was his sister shaking uncontrollably, and the sound of unsuccessfully stifled sobs filled the room. He removed the blankets from his body, suddenly feeling exposed and paranoid as if this lowering of his barrier would mean that the screams could suddenly resume and physically batter him. He tip-toed along the floor and sat down lightly on the bed, eliciting a slight squeak of surprise from the tangle of blankets. Softly he stroked Amanda’s shaking back through the covers. He felt somewhat hypocritical doing this, as he himself was shaking and fighting off racking sobs. He was no stronger than she, and yet he wished that he could do something to help her – she was the only thing in this god-forsaken that was good, the only pure thing in his life. He had friends at school, but there was always this thing between them that never allowed him to get close to them, to have carefree fun, this secret about his home life, the life that he was forced to leave as soon as the school gates closed behind him. Still very much physically a pre-teen, he often felt middle-aged in all his worries and anxieties. But with Amanda it was different. It was not that they actively sympathized with one another, but rather they understood each other, and did not have to put on airs just to be liked, they could be themselves, as quiet and gloomy as they wished to be. He loved her intensely, and wished he could bring her some happiness in this dark world. Her shaking ceased eventually, and eventually she peeked over the top of the blankets, her eyes glimmering pools of darkest brown in the darkness of their room, signaling the deepest melancholy within her. Simon’s heart within him almost tore in two, and he was sure that his eyes also dropped to the deepest black at the pain that racked his beautiful sister. Now completely uncovered by the blankets, her petite form was clear to him in the soft moonlight that glanced through the window.

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   He drew her to him, holding her so close that he could feel her heart fluttering against his chest through her newly budding breast. No words of comfort left his lips, for he knew them all to be hollow, as she would know too, all he could do was hold her. Yet even while he held her he felt her begin to shake uncontrollably with sobbing, and he felt helpless to stop it. He drew back, and looked into her eyes, hoping to find the answer there as to how to help her. For now he was not her brother, but just a boy who dearly loved a girl and wished to bring her out of the depths of depression. Almost involuntarily he leaned forward and planted an awkward kiss on her lips; both of their lips were moist from crying, and though the kiss lasted only a moment, the sensation of it was like lightning running through Simon’s body.

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It was his first kiss from a girl, his first real kiss – he had brushed lips with girls as an experiment over the years, just to feel what it felt like, but this was the first time it had any real feeling behind it, any meaning, and it made it feel sweeter than any fantasy he had ever had about a woman. He had discovered masturbation almost a year before, after being exposed to some pornos at a friend’s house. He had fantasized constantly about sex, about making love to a woman – all of the men and women in the videos and magazines had seemed so completely encompassed in the sex that nothing outside bothered them, it was just about two people in the moment. For her part, Amanda drew back in shock. It was not that she also didn’t feel the electricity running through her body, tinglings in her nipples as they grew hard, almost painfully so, and a moistness between her young thighs, but it was simply that she had never thought of this, never even considered it. The idea of being more to her brother than merely a sister was nothing she had ever thought about, her mind always toiling away on the horror of her existence. She truly hated her life, and had thought so many times about ending it all. Yet the thought that kept her back from that edge was leaving Simon alone to face this all. She loved him too dearly for that.

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   Yet this sudden development was new, and strange. Perhaps strangest because it felt in no way strange to either of them. They were no longer brother and sister, but rather two people who loved each other with such an intensity, and needed the solace of one another’s arms to escape the horrors that surrounded them. All these thoughts ran through their heads in mere milliseconds after the first kiss, and as Simon leaned in again, Amanda moved into him, her hands caressing his hair fondly as their tongues intertwined in their mouths, their hot lips hungrily moving slowly, rhythmically together. Simon could feel the desire for her rising in him, and felt his member growing in his pyjamas- he was almost embarrassed at this fact, as it was still small, only 5 or so inches, and still retained many of the childhood characteristics, though he had been able to ejaculate of late, and sparse pubic hairs covered the region. Amanda could feel a hardening object rubbing against her groin as they kissed, and suddenly the sweetness of the moment turned into passion, as their lips grew ever hungrier, as if to devour their partner. Suddenly, Simon pulled back. He suddenly felt his inadequacy keenly, never having had any experience with a women, and he knew that merely emulating what he had seen in pornos with his sister, the love of his life, would not be as she deserved – she was on a pedestal in his eyes, and so much more than any other woman. He wanted to make this special, something between them that noone else could ever have, something perfect. Just as Amanda began to worry that he was having second thoughts, he began to tenderly pulled her nightdress over her head, finding no resistance from her, but rather she seemed to have a fascination as to what would come next. He sat in front of her, gazing at her naked beauty. With fumbling, inexperienced fingers that made it oh so much sweeter, he began to caress her barely formed breasts, rubbing the nipples until Amanda began to moan and involuntarily rise from the bed in pleasure. Slowly, and careful not to shock her, he lowered his lips onto the buds of her nipples, and licks loving around them. She moaned in shock, and just as she did so he sucked as hard as he could, causing her to writhe in pleasure. “Don’t stop Simon, oh god don’t stop I think I’m gonna cum!” moaned Amanda.

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   Simon carefully nibbled on the end of her bud, which caused Amanda to go over the edge, almost crying out in absolute fulfillment, and shook violently. Simon pulled away, scared that he had done something wrong, but as the shuddering faded, Amanda flew forward to kiss Simon, her tongue massaging his own. Pulling away, she whispered sensuously into his ear, “You made me cum like I have never cum before. You have given me such pleasure. . I want you to be inside of me, because you complete me Simon, you are my other half” tears of joy rolled down her cheeks” I want you so badly Simon, and I love you more than I thought possible. ” Simon was speechless, his heart beating a mile a minute, and yet also feeling like it could burst from his chest at any moment with the pure joy that ran through him. Wordlessly, he pushed her down onto her bed, and stood to remove his pyjamas – the front of his pants already soaked with his juices. His small cock was hard beyond belief, almost purple in anticipation. He looked down at his beautiful naked sister before him, and felt for once in his life content. He lay down gently on top of her, their movements fraught with sweet inexperience. Her hand moved down to his groin, and lightly guided his throbbing member into her virgin pussy, which was wet in anticipation. He could feel just by the light touch of her lithe hands on his cock that he was almost ready to explode, but he did not want to ruin this moment, and used all of the self-control available to him. Gathering some of the juices on the tumescent head, he began to lightly push in through her beautiful outer lips, as they parted for him. He felt some resistance, and yet knew very little about what happened on a girl’s first time, so he pushed on through, and heard a muffled squeal of pain from Amanda, but the overwhelming sensations of warmth and tight wetness around his cock blanked all other thoughts from his mind.

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   He slowly began to move in and out, and the squeals of pain from Amanda slowly turned into moans of pleasure, and she whispers between her moans, “O-oh I love you so- oh fuck me my love, cum inside of me!”Hearing her talking like this only further excited him, and he could feel the electricity beginning at the base of his shaft firing up; leaning back, he let out a gasp of ecstasy as he emptied his seed into his sister, feeling it coursing through her. Amanda felt the flush of another orgasm as he came inside of her, this new sensation too much for her to bear, and she almost screamed out “Simon” as she came. He fell back on top of her, and held her close, his diminishing member still inside her, and kissed her, tasting her sweetness. They lay together like that until morning, and as the suns rays broke through the window Simon felt a flash of hot anger at the sun itself that it might ruin this perfect moment, and force them to return to the imperfect world outside of their embrace. For many months Simon and Amanda explored each others sexualities – it was in fact the way they now dealt with the violent screaming outside their bedroom, they would lie together, oblivious to the pain and sorrow around them, and find their niche of happiness.

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It was during one of these sessions that their complete enrapture in one another proved their downfall. One night, as the screaming and yelling continued throughout the house, Amanda was on her knees, tasting her brother’s engorged member, all the time gazing into his eyes as she bobbed up and down on it – they were the only two in the world at this moment. So it was that they did not hear the door slam open, and their father’s deep, guttural growl of anger. It took a few moments to realize that they had been found out, so in absolute adoration for each other they were. A slap to the side of Simon’s head brought him back to the horrors of reality. He could smell the reek of drink on his father’s clothes,“You sick little fuck, taking advantage of your sweet sister – you…. you’re…. ” Spluttering, he let out a howl of rage, and stormed out of the room. Everything from there seemed to happen so quickly – their parents decided finally to divorce, though the divorce proceedings were also just another mess. Their mother managed to take half of the estate.

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   And it was seen by both parents to be “for the best” that the children be separated, so they could hopefully find again some sense of morality. Simon did not even get to say goodbye to his sister or his mother as they left, flying to god knows where, to live a completely separate life. Simon grew up, and yet did not seem to have any friends, though he still stayed in his old school. The students marveled at the boy whose eyes were pure black, with no hint of brown left. Simon concentrated on his schoolwork, and achieved high grades in all his subjects, yet found no solace in that. Every night he would come home to find his father drunk again, and would receive beatings ranging in severity as to what imagined flaws the father would find in his son. And yet always the beatings would come down to his defilement of his innocent sister. He took every beating, no longer caring if they killed him or not. He went through life dead on the inside, his other half missing. He graduated top of his class, and finally received the money from the trust that his father had created for him. It was more than enough money for him to live comfortably for the rest of his life. As soon as he could, he moved out of his home into a nice, friendly neighbourhood, with the sounds of happy children and quiet evenings. He found solace wherever he could. Yet nothing seemed to fill the void in his heart. He had begun to take walks alone down the streets, stopping in at the supermarket for supplies.

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   It was there he met Irene. “Simon?” A shy voice piped up from behind him, and for a moment his heart lept as images of his sister came to mind, yet as he turned he found himself looking at a woman who, while by no means beautiful, radiated an inner beauty. She smiled shyly up at him, and he feigned a grin, “Do you remember me Simon? We went to school together? I was in your class all the way through. ” Simon felt a rush of guilt, as he had barely noticed anything but his own personal anguish. “It’s ok if you don’t, I always remembered how quiet you were. But I kinda…I always thought there was something special about you…”She blushed at this, and he smiled genuinely for the first time in many long years. “I was wondering if you would…like to go out sometime?” Irene had done the impossible, and in those few words had broken through the shell that was Simon. He stepped closer to her and said, “ I would love to. Perhaps you would like to come to my house? I’ll make us something to eat…or maybe just fake it and order in” they both laughed at this. Their date was sweet, nothing passionate, but he did find himself enjoying himself. By the time it came to say goodnight, he found himself wanting to stay longer with this woman who took some of his pain away, this shy woman with a beautiful heart. Before she could say goodnight, he kissed her, and led her to the bedroom. She stripped quickly, perhaps afraid that he would change his mind, and lay back on the bed. He moved his body on top of hers, shortly after putting on a condom, and pushed his cock against her wonderfully moist lips. But as he moved in, he felt some resistance.

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   He looked at her in shock an realization, and she had begun to cry. “You’re…a virgin?” this only seemed to make her cry more. “No, please, don’t cry, I think it’s beautiful. ” He smiled at her reassuringly, and she seemed to brighten, sniffing back her tears. “Really?” She sniffled“Really. ” Simon felt a sudden rush of guilt for the real reason this turned him on, as it was so reminiscent of his sister, and their first time together – it was like a piece of her brought back to him. He gently penetrated her hymen, to which she cried out, but in Simon’s mind it was Amanda crying out that first time – Irene’s moans were Amanda’s moans, and as Irene cried out in the throes of ecstasy, it was Amanda Simon heard. He stroked in and out a few more times, and finally explosively blew his load into the condom, and as he fell on top of her, and felt her kisses all over his face, he had to stop himself from moaning out that one name that haunted him“Amanda”It became clear to him soon after that Irene was in love with him, and he had to admit that with her some of the pain of living was gone. By 24 they were married, and by 25 their first child, Samantha was born. Simon found a modicum of joy in these moments, and moments of love. He certainly felt strongly for both his wife and child, but never the connection that he knew that he should have had. Life continued on – the sex between himself and Irene was never passionate, just sweet, and she was always desperate to please. His daughter grew up into a wonderful young woman, and at the age of 40 Simon was finally content, if not euphorically happy. It was then that the phone-call came. It changed everything, every drop of happiness that Simon had so carefully collected was siphoned out suddenly.

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  It was all sudden. The car suddenly swerving, her body suddenly flying through the air, and her heart suddenly stopping. Simon knelt before the grave. All other mourners had long since gone, and the rays of the sun were dying, leaving a dull red glare over the graveyard. “You deserved better,” is all Simon could get out before he began to tear up,”You were the best of women, the most perfect and beautiful person, yet I never appreciated you for that. To me, you were just pieces of my one love…and all I can do now is hate myself for it. You deserved better than I could give you. ” The tears were running more freely now. As he cried openly, his tears bathing the grave, he did not notice the approach of another. Her lithe hands rubbed his back slowly, patiently, until his shuddering sobs stopped. He turned to look at her, knowing her, feeling her in his heart and soul. “As once you did for me,” Amanda said softly, “So I will for you”She drew him close, holding him tightly, the two halves one. She kissed him softly, sweetly, and the world flittered away as they looked closely into each others light brown eyes. The red sun set over the embracing couple, and the morning sun rose to find them still locked in their embrace. The two halves would never divide again.

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